I’ve Been Thinking
I’ve been thinking lately that I don’t believe I’m doing enough to speed up global warming. All my recycling of paper, glass, and plastic, all my wishy-washy re-use of shopping bags and containers, these things can only lead to a slow-down of production of toxic byproducts and, consequently, the impact on the environment. At the rate things are going, we are never going to reach our collective and unadmitted goal of a worldwide tropical paradise/garbage heap! Clearly, I must do my part- but how? How can I, without working too much or thinking too hard, help to abuse the planet’s plant-life, air supply and water reservoirs? Oh wait, I know, I’ll join a Kitchen Gadget of the Month Club!
For only $139.99USD per year, I can automatically increase the amount of useless plastic crap clogging up my kitchen with practically no effort at all. The enlightened people at The Kitchen Store.com will send me all kinds of ridiculous, single-purpose, wasteful products each month so that without even thinking, every 30 days I am $11.67 closer to a more materialistic and cluttered lifestyle. And just think of all the people in the world who live on less than $1/per day who might otherwise have accepted charitable goods as a result of my having donated $139.99USD who surely are happier that I have a lime keeper and corn stripper than that they have clean water. Thank-you, KitchenStore.com!
January – Microwave Popcorn Popper
February – 16 Blade Meat Tenderizer
March -Jar Pop
April -Egg Cuber
May – Lime Keeper
June – Disposable Grilling Planks
July – OXO Good Grips Corn Stripper
August – Picnic Knife
September – Silicone Baking Mat
October – Progressive Measuring Sifter
November – Bread Warming Stone
December – Ateco 8pc Decorating Set
Christmas is only 237 days away, so if anyone was thinking of signing me up, I would prefer that each month’s gift be wrapped so that more trees might die in my honour.