sybarites

Here’s something:   I love the Kabuki Sundance Theater in Japantown.  Let me explain.

We had decided to see Star Trek: The Prequel Where Spock and Kirk First Meld Minds.   SciFi kind of warrants viewage on the IMAX-sized screen but the theater downtown which offers this option is rather large and cold and rather not our favourite.   Instead, I suggested that we make use of the balcony level of the Kabuki theater because it is connected to a bar and is uniquely qualified to cater to women dragged to see Star Trek: The Origin of The Unconscionably Offensive Yellow Captain’s Uniform.    Marc promptly purchased the tickets online, where we were able to choose our seats at the very edge of the balcony so as to have an unobstructed view of the finer details of the visual effects associated with “beaming”.

We arrived early to size up the bar.  The cinema itself is on the small side, somehow managing to be both cozy – with the Peet’s Coffee on the second level – and bright, with the 3-story atrium effect.  We headed straight for the third floor and ordered glasses of wine.   At this point, it’s nothing to really write home about, but the true brilliance of this theater is the fact that one can take their (generously poured) drinks and pizza or salad or mediterranean platter into the balcony seating area.   So civilized to sit in comfortable reclining seats, separated in twos by coffee-table-esque surfaces, sipping wine from glass glasses, feet up, in front of a big screen.  I doubt we’ll be able to visit another theater now;  all others are ruined.  (Except that one in Oakland that serves beer and pizza, but it can’t hold a candle to Kabuki.)   At least I will not offer any resistence when goaded into seeing the next Star Trek movie, Star Trek: Even More Green-Skinned Women in Their Underwear.

I’m currently reading Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant: Confessions of Cooking for One and Dining Alone.   (A particularly poignant read while eating my lunch alone today: a bowl of cereal.)  The writers who contributed to the collection confessed no small amount of loneliness and associated dark humour.  So many eggs consumed by people eating alone, so much pasta;  so many meals eaten over the sink or in bed; so many tables for one by the window, armed with a book.

Reading the stories, I am reminded of food to which I gravitate when unencumbered by anyone else’s tastes, or moods or presence.   Eggs figure prominently; homemade bean and cheese burritos, which, as ingredients get low, devolves into tortillas with melted cheese, and then just cheese; half an acorn squash roasted with butter and a little brown sugar- I could eat that every night for weeks.  It would seem that eating the same thing over and over again for long periods of time isn’t that uncommon: one woman ate asparagus every day for 2 months, one man ate spaghetti for 1973.  I doubt I could stomach any one thing for more than a few weeks, even if it is Nigella’s spaghetti carbonara with bacon and extra bacon.

Before I die, I intend to have one meal like the one I envy Olympia Dukakis in Moonstruck.   Wearing a suit and conservative heels, I will go to an Italian restaurant by myself.  When the maître d’ asks, “Good evening, who’s coming?”   I will respond with “Just me. I wanna eat.”  And I will sit at the tableclothed table for one in the middle of the room and order “a martini, no ice, two olives.”

I’ve been thinking lately that I don’t believe I’m doing enough to speed up global warming.   All my recycling of paper, glass, and plastic, all my wishy-washy re-use of shopping bags and containers, these things can only lead to a slow-down of production of toxic byproducts and, consequently, the impact on the environment.  At the rate things are going, we are never going to reach our collective and unadmitted goal of a worldwide tropical paradise/garbage heap!   Clearly, I must do my part- but how?   How can I, without working too much or thinking too hard,  help to abuse the planet’s plant-life, air supply and water reservoirs?   Oh wait, I know, I’ll join a Kitchen Gadget of the Month Club!

For only $139.99USD per year, I can automatically increase the amount of useless plastic crap clogging up my kitchen with practically no effort at all.   The enlightened people at The Kitchen Store.com will send me all kinds of ridiculous, single-purpose, wasteful products each month so that without even thinking, every 30 days I am $11.67 closer to a more materialistic and cluttered lifestyle.   And just think of all the people in the world who live on less than $1/per day who might otherwise have accepted charitable goods as a result of my having donated $139.99USD who surely are happier that I have a lime keeper and corn stripper than that they have clean water.   Thank-you, KitchenStore.com!

January – Microwave Popcorn Popper
February – 16 Blade Meat Tenderizer
March -Jar Pop
April -Egg Cuber
May – Lime Keeper
June – Disposable Grilling Planks
July – OXO Good Grips Corn Stripper
August – Picnic Knife
September – Silicone Baking Mat
October – Progressive Measuring Sifter
November – Bread Warming Stone
December – Ateco 8pc Decorating Set

Christmas is only 237 days away, so if anyone was thinking of signing me up, I would prefer that each month’s gift be wrapped so that more trees might die in my honour.