Increasing the Awesomeness
The other day, we were watching Sell This House on A&E and the designer on the show made some comment about improving the look of the poured concrete floor in the victim’s home. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but what I heard was “It will increase the awesomeness of the floors”. And for a few seconds after hearing it, it didn’t really occur to me to question it as a word because I’ve become so entrenched in the habit of making up words, that it seems I barely notice when it is done anymore. Eventually, I did ask Marc if Roger had just used the word “awesomeness” and was subsequently corrected. But I could almost make a case for the acceptance of “awesomeness” as a new word, if it weren’t so incorrect and, like, totally Valley Girl. The word “ensmallen” on the other hand- that’s a different story.
At any rate, if “awesomeness” indeed became a word, it could most readily be applied to the following gadget: the George Foreman USB iGrill. This is what geeks all over Silicon Valley would be getting and giving for Christmas, (especially the ones who arguably live inside their cubicles and go home only because that’s where their clothes live), if it weren’t for the fact that it is a joke. Sadly, the iGrill does not yet exist, though surely it is only a matter of time. The description of the product is pretty clever: “The George Foreman USB iGrill conveniently connects to your home or office PC using USB 2.0 technology, and provides a sophisticated web-based cooking interface.”
Amazingly, the following gadgets, however, do currently exist: the USB missle launcher, the USB ashtray, the USB fragrance dispenser and, for the holidays, the USB fiber optic Christmas tree. Geeks may not yet be able to cook using their computers, but they can smoke, fight cube-wars and enjoy the holidays by left-clicking.